today as i stumble through my day with another migraine i try to imagine what life would be like if i wasn't quite so alone. with the closest family 2 hours away and busy with their own lives, and Matthew working full time and all his vacation and sick time used up, i find myself often doing it alone. feeding, changing, rocking baby alone at all hours of day and night. making meals, cleaning house, doing laundry, alone.
it's not that bad. i can enjoy some peace and quiet now and again. i enjoy being the queen of my domain. but on days like today when i can barely see through the pain of a splitting headache i wish i wasn't quite so alone. that there was someone i could call to sit with Amelia while i took a nap or a shower or caught up on writing invitations for next weeks' jewelry party...
i am jealous of my other mom friends who have a support system they can lean on. i'm still making friends here in this new town and can't call them whenever i am feeling miserable... and my family can't stop their lives to come down every few weeks to help me clean my house.
so what do i do? how can i live a normal life with these debilitating migraines taking over every few days? i need help. another family i can partner with. a support system that is closer than 2 hours away...
in the mean time, i pray for the migraine to go away today and that the baby will sleep a little longer at nap time so i can rest too...
