Hey there friends!
For those of you who have been following our journey for a while, this is a quick post to let you know that we are now preparing for our vision trip to Indonesia.
We would love for you to get involved in any ways you can. Please be praying about how you want to participate in this season of our journey with us. Here are a few needs that we have right now. I will update as the time of our trip comes closer and upon our return when we have more details of what we will be doing in the next few years...
Right now our urgent need is for the finances to go on this trip. At this point, we are looking for about 100 people to donate $40 each to this trip... This will cover the expense to get to and from Indonesia and between any islands as well as our food and lodging. We also need transportation from Redding to Los Angeles and back again as our out of country flight is from LAX.
Please also pray about supporting us when we return. We already know of the following needs and we ask that you pray about your involvement and how you can help...
* Our dog, Skippy needs a new home.
*We will need a place to stay temporarily when we return from our trip until we can get things situated
*we will eventually need monthly financial support if we are going to be doing full time service. (This includes student loan payments)
*we need prayer and encouragement for not only us but for our families as well
If you would like to donate to this specific trip, you can write a check out to The Stirring and put our names in the memo... Our church is setting up a fund for this trip. If you think you would be able to help with another need in the future, please email us and let us know.
Thank you for your prayers and continued encouragement and support. Please feel free to comment below or email if you have any questions. Thanks!
20 January 2010
06 December 2009
The Tree
Okay, so Beth Moore is amazing... God is even more amazing. I am loving how He is using this study this week to really speak to me. I can't tell you how wonderful it has been to rest in His word the past few days... okay, so new revelation building up from yesterday's devotional time...
Ephesians 3:14-21 (New Living Translation) Paul’s Prayer for Spiritual Growth
"When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen."
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: "Draw a tree planted in soil to represent how rooted you would estimate your life to be in the soil, or assurance, of God's love. Beside the diagram, write an explanation for the depth (or lack of depth) of your roots."
Okay, so I wish I could draw you a picture of my tree, but you will just have to imagine it yourself. It is a tall tree with many roots and branches. Each branch is a different size and has smaller branches coming out of it. There are no leaves on the tree. In the center of the tree is a carving of a heart. The roots appear to be a reflection of the branches: each a different length and depth and smaller roots coming out of larger ones. The roots are named after who God is to me and their depth is comparable to the depth of that characteristic of God evidenced in my life... God as Father, Savior, Comforter, friend, healer, provider, faithful, and unfailing love.
This assignment made me realize how amazing (and accurate!) the image of a tree is as an analogy for the spiritual life. Although some branches and even some smaller roots may break and die in a storm, fire, flood, or drought, there are still many strong roots that are deep and firmly planted that do not allow the tree to be moved or destroyed. Through time and the trials of life, even shallow roots grow deeper and weak roots become stronger and new roots form and grow. God uses the storms and fires of life to trim us so that he can grow us in the way that he sees is best for his plan. Matthew and I have been two tall trees rooted firmly in our own paths and plans for life. We have been through some difficult and dry seasons and many branches have broken, but as new life and branches form, the trees grow closer together and become one tree. This is not an instant process, but a long and sometimes painful one. But it is not the only purpose for the trimming. God cuts back the unhealthy branches so that the tree can grow and live and eventually produce fruit. God is the Master Gardener. As a tree, can I tell him that I do not want to be pruned today? He only works so that I may have an abundant life in Him and that I would produce fruit for His kingdom. If I work against Him and do not allow Him to prune me, I will only suffer more. There is freedom in resting in the Master's hands.
God as the Master Gardener does not only prune, but He waters His creation with His Spirit. Beth Moore said "Through the filling of the Holy Spirit, He desires to permeate every inch of your life and fill up every hollow place with the fullness of His love." (Breaking Free, week 8, day 3).Indeed, this is how I feel today - although there is still sadness at the loss of another child, God has filled the empty place with His love. As I surrender to Him, His love casts out my fears and fills me with His Spirit, peace and love.
Psalm 90:14 "Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."
As Beth Moore says, "If we're not experiencing satisfaction, a hindrance exists and we want to identify it and ask God to remove it. Ordinarily, the primary hindrance to satisfaction in our lives is refusing Him access to our empty places."
I realized today that I have been refusing to let God fill my empty places because my desire for a child overwhelmed me. Even more, I thought my desires (and timing) was in line with His plans and promises for my life, so I denied Him access to those empty places. Now that I have surrendered to Him, He has satisfied me beyond my wildest imaginings!
Not that I do not continue to feel sadness at the loss of life so desired and so precious to us, but that I do not have an insatiable obsession for having a child. That empty place has been filled with the only One who could ever have filled it in the first place - God. There is such freedom in allowing Him to fill this place. Freedom to serve, freedom to live, freedom to be who I am without fear of failure or inadequacy. Freedom to live without shame or fear. Satisfaction in Christ is not like satisfaction of this world. It does not fade away in light of the next thing. It is complete. I feel a wholeness I have never known before. Thank you Jesus for this gift.
A new passion for God's word has been birthed from the last few days' treasures. I am so looking forward to what tomorrow will bring! It truly is an amazing adventure with God... each new day full of truth and life from His word. This is a new season in the journey. One I was not expecting, but one I am so grateful for.
Ephesians 3:14-21 (New Living Translation) Paul’s Prayer for Spiritual Growth
"When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen."
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: "Draw a tree planted in soil to represent how rooted you would estimate your life to be in the soil, or assurance, of God's love. Beside the diagram, write an explanation for the depth (or lack of depth) of your roots."
Okay, so I wish I could draw you a picture of my tree, but you will just have to imagine it yourself. It is a tall tree with many roots and branches. Each branch is a different size and has smaller branches coming out of it. There are no leaves on the tree. In the center of the tree is a carving of a heart. The roots appear to be a reflection of the branches: each a different length and depth and smaller roots coming out of larger ones. The roots are named after who God is to me and their depth is comparable to the depth of that characteristic of God evidenced in my life... God as Father, Savior, Comforter, friend, healer, provider, faithful, and unfailing love.
This assignment made me realize how amazing (and accurate!) the image of a tree is as an analogy for the spiritual life. Although some branches and even some smaller roots may break and die in a storm, fire, flood, or drought, there are still many strong roots that are deep and firmly planted that do not allow the tree to be moved or destroyed. Through time and the trials of life, even shallow roots grow deeper and weak roots become stronger and new roots form and grow. God uses the storms and fires of life to trim us so that he can grow us in the way that he sees is best for his plan. Matthew and I have been two tall trees rooted firmly in our own paths and plans for life. We have been through some difficult and dry seasons and many branches have broken, but as new life and branches form, the trees grow closer together and become one tree. This is not an instant process, but a long and sometimes painful one. But it is not the only purpose for the trimming. God cuts back the unhealthy branches so that the tree can grow and live and eventually produce fruit. God is the Master Gardener. As a tree, can I tell him that I do not want to be pruned today? He only works so that I may have an abundant life in Him and that I would produce fruit for His kingdom. If I work against Him and do not allow Him to prune me, I will only suffer more. There is freedom in resting in the Master's hands.
God as the Master Gardener does not only prune, but He waters His creation with His Spirit. Beth Moore said "Through the filling of the Holy Spirit, He desires to permeate every inch of your life and fill up every hollow place with the fullness of His love." (Breaking Free, week 8, day 3).Indeed, this is how I feel today - although there is still sadness at the loss of another child, God has filled the empty place with His love. As I surrender to Him, His love casts out my fears and fills me with His Spirit, peace and love.
Psalm 90:14 "Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."
As Beth Moore says, "If we're not experiencing satisfaction, a hindrance exists and we want to identify it and ask God to remove it. Ordinarily, the primary hindrance to satisfaction in our lives is refusing Him access to our empty places."
I realized today that I have been refusing to let God fill my empty places because my desire for a child overwhelmed me. Even more, I thought my desires (and timing) was in line with His plans and promises for my life, so I denied Him access to those empty places. Now that I have surrendered to Him, He has satisfied me beyond my wildest imaginings!
Not that I do not continue to feel sadness at the loss of life so desired and so precious to us, but that I do not have an insatiable obsession for having a child. That empty place has been filled with the only One who could ever have filled it in the first place - God. There is such freedom in allowing Him to fill this place. Freedom to serve, freedom to live, freedom to be who I am without fear of failure or inadequacy. Freedom to live without shame or fear. Satisfaction in Christ is not like satisfaction of this world. It does not fade away in light of the next thing. It is complete. I feel a wholeness I have never known before. Thank you Jesus for this gift.
A new passion for God's word has been birthed from the last few days' treasures. I am so looking forward to what tomorrow will bring! It truly is an amazing adventure with God... each new day full of truth and life from His word. This is a new season in the journey. One I was not expecting, but one I am so grateful for.
05 December 2009
Lost and Found
Today my devotional reading took me to some amazing scriptures that I just had to share with you! I have been doing a Beth Moore Bible Study the past few weeks. Today's homework led me to Romans 8:38-39. I read it from the New Living Translation and it spoke volumes to me today. Let me read it to you...
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today, nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the power of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
The assignment was to replace the fears of Paul with my own fears so that I could confront them and also discover the truth that not even these fears which bind me can keep me from the unfailing Love of God. I have been so bound up by fear this week. With the bleeding during the pregnancy and not having a good OB/GYN and all the other things going on with this pregnancy and my history of miscarriage, I have been so fearful of loosing this child. I have prayed daily for her protection and health out of fear of loosing another child. But it wasn't just fear of loosing her... all my other fears were wrapped up in the birth of this child. The fear that I will never be a good mother... the fear that we will never be able to go to Indonesia and minister effectively... the fear that I am not as much a woman of God if I am not a mother... the list goes on and on...
Yesterday I spent the day with my dear friend Pearcia. This awesome woman of faith is such a blessing to me because she is not afraid to speak truth into my life even when it is uncomfortable. She brought these fears to my attention and told me very plainly that the enemy will only be able to take my child if I let him through my fears. I was beginning to understand a new part of God... that trusting Him means believing that He knows what is best for me and that His ways are higher than my ways. That his love is bigger than my love and His purposes for His children are beyond my understanding. That worrying cannot add one day to my life. This knowledge did not help me to overcome fear in one day, but it helped me to see God's goodness at the end of the long night...
Last night after two days of heavy bleeding and unbearable pain, we went to the emergency room. I knew that I was loosing the baby and there was absolutely nothing I could do but trust that God would get me through the night. As the doctor performed the D&C, peace and a huge sense of relief washed over me. I would no longer have to worry about this little one because she is in the arms of my loving Father God. She is not having to suffer in this world any longer. All my fears of not being able to survive another miscarriage collided with the truth that God is faithful and loving and stronger than any sadness or pain.
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate me from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither grieving nor rejoicing, neither friends nor enemies, neither worries nor contentment, neither riches nor poverty, neither success nor failure will ever be able to separate me from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus my Lord."
As the pain slipped away and sleep came I was able to rest in a peace I have not felt for months. And this morning as I read today's devotional and did the Bible Study homework, God's gentle promises and faithfulness greeted me. My fears were confronted and I was overwhelmed with His love.
Only in death can there be life. This is the beauty and paradox of the Gospel. But it is good news. The promises of God bring new life. This word comes from Isaiah 55:10-11, again from the NLT.
"The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it."
Last night I received a fresh brokenness and burden for the lost of Indonesia. I now see that my purpose is not wrapped up in motherhood or even any performance in ministry. God's love for me is unconditional and unfailing. And nothing in all creation can ever separate me from that love. AMEN!
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today, nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the power of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
The assignment was to replace the fears of Paul with my own fears so that I could confront them and also discover the truth that not even these fears which bind me can keep me from the unfailing Love of God. I have been so bound up by fear this week. With the bleeding during the pregnancy and not having a good OB/GYN and all the other things going on with this pregnancy and my history of miscarriage, I have been so fearful of loosing this child. I have prayed daily for her protection and health out of fear of loosing another child. But it wasn't just fear of loosing her... all my other fears were wrapped up in the birth of this child. The fear that I will never be a good mother... the fear that we will never be able to go to Indonesia and minister effectively... the fear that I am not as much a woman of God if I am not a mother... the list goes on and on...
Yesterday I spent the day with my dear friend Pearcia. This awesome woman of faith is such a blessing to me because she is not afraid to speak truth into my life even when it is uncomfortable. She brought these fears to my attention and told me very plainly that the enemy will only be able to take my child if I let him through my fears. I was beginning to understand a new part of God... that trusting Him means believing that He knows what is best for me and that His ways are higher than my ways. That his love is bigger than my love and His purposes for His children are beyond my understanding. That worrying cannot add one day to my life. This knowledge did not help me to overcome fear in one day, but it helped me to see God's goodness at the end of the long night...
Last night after two days of heavy bleeding and unbearable pain, we went to the emergency room. I knew that I was loosing the baby and there was absolutely nothing I could do but trust that God would get me through the night. As the doctor performed the D&C, peace and a huge sense of relief washed over me. I would no longer have to worry about this little one because she is in the arms of my loving Father God. She is not having to suffer in this world any longer. All my fears of not being able to survive another miscarriage collided with the truth that God is faithful and loving and stronger than any sadness or pain.
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate me from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither grieving nor rejoicing, neither friends nor enemies, neither worries nor contentment, neither riches nor poverty, neither success nor failure will ever be able to separate me from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus my Lord."
As the pain slipped away and sleep came I was able to rest in a peace I have not felt for months. And this morning as I read today's devotional and did the Bible Study homework, God's gentle promises and faithfulness greeted me. My fears were confronted and I was overwhelmed with His love.
Only in death can there be life. This is the beauty and paradox of the Gospel. But it is good news. The promises of God bring new life. This word comes from Isaiah 55:10-11, again from the NLT.
"The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it."
Last night I received a fresh brokenness and burden for the lost of Indonesia. I now see that my purpose is not wrapped up in motherhood or even any performance in ministry. God's love for me is unconditional and unfailing. And nothing in all creation can ever separate me from that love. AMEN!
24 November 2009
baby pictures
Quick update. All is going well with the pregnancy so far. We had ultrasound pictures today at CareNet pregnancy center. I am going to try to add the pictures to the blog but bear with me as Matthew's technical support is unavailable as I post this. We are about 6 weeks along and were able to find the heart beating at 120 beats per minute. Praise the Lord!
More updates to come as our Indonesia plans come together even more and the baby gets bigger and stronger. Thank you for your continued prayers for a healthy pregnancy.
More updates to come as our Indonesia plans come together even more and the baby gets bigger and stronger. Thank you for your continued prayers for a healthy pregnancy.
13 November 2009
The New Journey Begins
Okay, so for those of you that don't know already, we are pregnant once again! Praise the Lord! We are still seeking to understand His timing, but are cherishing every moment of this little one's life. We are at about 5 weeks and have had a few scares with progesterone levels and bleeding, but we have crossed over those hurdles for now and are just taking each day one at a time. We are in constant prayer that this little one will be healthy and full term and that we will have a healthy pregnancy. We request for your prayers for us as we seek qualified and communicative physicians to care for us during this time. We also are seeking God's wisdom for the timing of our vision trip to Indonesia. We are hoping to be able to travel during our second trimester (February). Please pray that we are able to get all of the details necessary together before then and that we would be one as we make decisions in this regard. Thank you for your prayers.
Blessings!
Blessings!
14 October 2009
A few words of encouragement... it's the little things...
The Lord will accomplish that which He has promised
and that which He has called me to will be done by Him.
"Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blamless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.
God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful."
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you." Psalm 37:5
and that which He has called me to will be done by Him.
"Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blamless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.
God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful."
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you." Psalm 37:5
02 October 2009
It has begun
For those of you who have labored through the last blogs ... this promises to be rather short. :)
We have come to the decision that it is time to stop talking and start walking and so we are moving forward at last! This month we are selling everything we own in order to live simpler and begin our preparations for the mission field. We will be moving into a furnished room in my grandmother's house while we complete our time of preparation. We are still praying about the time frame for this, but are looking at possibly going on a short vision trip in the next six months and then returning for at least another six months while we raise financial support and make decisions on where we will serve.
This next few months will be filled with transition as we move out of our beautiful three bedroom home into small and shared living space. While we are seeking God for the details of this upcoming vision trip, we will be preparing our spirits, minds, hearts and bodies for the mission field. Please pray for us as we make decisions and begin planning for this trip. Pray with us for health, relationships (my aunt and uncle also live at grandma's house and are not believers), protection over our marriage, finances, and language study. Please pray for unity as well as smoothness of this transition as we sell our belongings and change our way of living. Also, our dog will be moving in with my mom. Pray that he does well with this transition and that my mother's landlord will be compassionate and understanding of the situation. If she is not, we will have to find another home for our dog and this will not be a simple task for me emotionally...
I know that this summary is brief and that you will have many questions. Please feel free to ask so we can explain our hearts more clearly and you can partner with us better. There will be lots of time to meet with you before we leave and we hope that we will have the opportunity to pray with you before our adventure begins.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement that has brought us to this place. We envy their continued presence as we venture forth into this new leg of the journey!
We have come to the decision that it is time to stop talking and start walking and so we are moving forward at last! This month we are selling everything we own in order to live simpler and begin our preparations for the mission field. We will be moving into a furnished room in my grandmother's house while we complete our time of preparation. We are still praying about the time frame for this, but are looking at possibly going on a short vision trip in the next six months and then returning for at least another six months while we raise financial support and make decisions on where we will serve.
This next few months will be filled with transition as we move out of our beautiful three bedroom home into small and shared living space. While we are seeking God for the details of this upcoming vision trip, we will be preparing our spirits, minds, hearts and bodies for the mission field. Please pray for us as we make decisions and begin planning for this trip. Pray with us for health, relationships (my aunt and uncle also live at grandma's house and are not believers), protection over our marriage, finances, and language study. Please pray for unity as well as smoothness of this transition as we sell our belongings and change our way of living. Also, our dog will be moving in with my mom. Pray that he does well with this transition and that my mother's landlord will be compassionate and understanding of the situation. If she is not, we will have to find another home for our dog and this will not be a simple task for me emotionally...
I know that this summary is brief and that you will have many questions. Please feel free to ask so we can explain our hearts more clearly and you can partner with us better. There will be lots of time to meet with you before we leave and we hope that we will have the opportunity to pray with you before our adventure begins.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement that has brought us to this place. We envy their continued presence as we venture forth into this new leg of the journey!
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